A guy who works in my dad's office sent him this and then Dad forwarded it to me. I think you'll find it quite humorous :-)
Administratium:
A major research institution has recently announced the discovery of the
heaviest element yet known to science. This new element has been tentatively
named "Administratium." Administratium has 1 neutron, 12 assistant neutrons,
75 deputy neutrons, and 111 assistant deputy neutrons, giving it an atomic
mass of 312.
These 312 particles are held together by forces called morons, which are
surrounded by vast quantities of lepton-like particles called peons. Since
Administratium has no electrons, it is inert. However, it can be detected as
it impedes every reaction with which it comes into contact. A minute amount
of Administratium causes one reaction to take over 4 days to complete when
it would normally take less than a second.
Administratium has a normal half-life of 3 years; it does not decay but
instead undergoes a reorganization in which a portion of the assistant
neutrons and deputy neutrons exchange places. In fact, Administratium's
mass will actually increase over time, since each reorganization causes some
morons to become neutrons, forming iso-dopes.
This characteristic of moron-promotion leads some scientists to speculate
that Administratium is formed whenever morons reach a certain quantity in
concentration. This hypothetical quantity is referred to as "Critical
Stupidity." You will know it when you see it.
heaviest element yet known to science. This new element has been tentatively
named "Administratium." Administratium has 1 neutron, 12 assistant neutrons,
75 deputy neutrons, and 111 assistant deputy neutrons, giving it an atomic
mass of 312.
These 312 particles are held together by forces called morons, which are
surrounded by vast quantities of lepton-like particles called peons. Since
Administratium has no electrons, it is inert. However, it can be detected as
it impedes every reaction with which it comes into contact. A minute amount
of Administratium causes one reaction to take over 4 days to complete when
it would normally take less than a second.
Administratium has a normal half-life of 3 years; it does not decay but
instead undergoes a reorganization in which a portion of the assistant
neutrons and deputy neutrons exchange places. In fact, Administratium's
mass will actually increase over time, since each reorganization causes some
morons to become neutrons, forming iso-dopes.
This characteristic of moron-promotion leads some scientists to speculate
that Administratium is formed whenever morons reach a certain quantity in
concentration. This hypothetical quantity is referred to as "Critical
Stupidity." You will know it when you see it.
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